The Great Turnip of Happiness

Have you ever seen some one wandering aimlessly down the street and said to yourself, “Self, I think that guy looks like he just fell off a turnip truck”! Rick swears I fell off a turnip truck and I know he did!

So what exactly does this mean you ask? This is an expression made popular by the famous late night talk show host, Johnny Carson. It was a term a con artists used when referring to a new guy in town. He was a hayseed who would believe anything he was told. This person isn’t just dumb enough to be on a turnip truck; he’s so dumb he fell off. Anyway, this week’s subject is, Can you guess?

Turnips surprised me, I had no idea there could be anything interesting about a turnip. Nothing is really boring in the world of plants, all have been given a reason that they exist, and all things were mysterious to the people of the ancient world. All things were precious, all things revered.

Turnips have provided people with a reliable food source since pre-historic times, particularly those living in northern Europe, between the Caucasus mountains and the Baltic Sea.

Root plants appear often in legend and folklore, not only because they served as a staple food but also because they grew underground and appeared to have some mystical connection to the earth. The ancient Romans considered them to be the most valuable of all vegetables, and the British of the middle ages placed them on coats of arms to represent those who were generous to the poor.

The Baltic Finns’ name for their turnip god is Agras, who is also the god of twins. The birth of twins has always been believed to be super natural, two turnips growing together as twins was thought to be a manifestation of Agras himself. When a twin turnip was found, they performed rituals and recited ardent prayers at their root cellars. They made it a point to marvel at the turnip weight and thanked Agras for his generous gift and prayed to the god for a good turnip year. A good crop meant that they would have enough food to sustain a hard long winter.

Turnips appear often in Russian folklore as well, in one legend, magic children living deep in the woods so longed for turnips that they stole them from an elderly couple who had planted them on their roof. In return for the turnips they left the couple a magic tablecloth that gave them all the food they wanted and a magic goat that gave them all the gold they wanted.

Root legends often emphasize the dire consequences of pulling the root out of the ground; one interesting Algonquin legend is about a gigantic turnip that filled a hole in the sky. Feather Woman fell in love with Morning Star one night when she and her sister were sleeping outside and she noticed the lovely bright light illuminating the sky.

Morning Star had also noticed Feather Woman and came down to earth and took her back with him to the sky world through the open hole, then blocked the hole with the sacred turnip and made her his wife. She lived with Morning star, the son of the sun and the moon, in a shining lodge in the sky. One day, Moon gave Feather Woman a root digger and sent her off to dig roots. He warned her not to dig up the large turnip, however, for if she did, it would bring her unhappiness.

This made her very curious about the turnip but she resisted touching it for a long time. One day she could resist no longer. She enlisted the help of two cranes and together they pulled up the large turnip, this opened a gaping hole in the sky, Feather Woman looked down and could see her family and begged to see them. Morning Star returned her to her family and left her there. As time passed Feather Woman desperately longed for her husband but he refused to take her back. Having committed the sin of uprooting the sacred turnip she was forbidden to return to the sky and remained unhappy for the rest of her life. In this legend the turnip was the key to happiness.

Turnips are suprisingly healthy and tasty; they are a great replacement for potatoes if you would like to lower your carbohydrate intake. A large turnip contains 0.014 grams of fat and only 36 calories. Turnips contain protein, fiber, vitamin C, calcium and potassium. Turnip greens contain more nutrients than the root. One nutrient is Lutien. This is found in the retina of the eye and assists in the absorption of blue light. Several studies have suggested that Lutien can help protect the eye from Macular Degeneration, a loss of central vision; one can no longer see fine details. Rick and I love corned beef hash, we found this recipe at a restaurant in Newport on their low carb menu. It’s so easy!

Turnip and Corned Beef Hash

2 pounds corned Beef
3 large turnips
3 cans of beer

Cook meat in a crockpot all day in the beer.
Cut the turnips in half and add to the crockpot.
Cook for 30 minutes or until tender but not soggy.
Heat a large skillet and add 1 tbsp. oil.
Cut up the meat and turnips and brown until crispy.

Enjoy!

Crystal can be reached at Crystalhayed@peak.org